Dark. Black. Blank.

A feeling. A sensation. Cheeks become warm. Something dances. Sunrays. Then a shapeless flicker. Consciousnes awakens. An arm moves. Something tickles. One hair on the forearm untangles itself and gently sways like a blade of grass in wind. Black shades inside the head fade into red. A dreamy thought crosses the mind, is this red the silhouette of the blood flowing into my eyelids? Ruckus, commotion. Eyes open. Perfectly round orange sun and light blue sky outside the sliding window. Cloudless.

Wonder. Marvel. Am I really here? I dig my memory. Hard. And it comes back. Last night's conversation. The whole of it, transformed into a feeling.

***

He called up yesterday evening.

''Wifey is at her parent's place in B'lore. You doing anything tonight? No? Good. You might as well come over then. I've got a bottle of scotch, so lets rattle and rum. Err.. Hum. Will you get some andhra chicken on your way here?''

When I first met him, he was looking for a shared apartment in London. He was exploring his options when someone told him that I was looking for a flatmate myself. He seemed like a regular guy, like it usually seems to me. Until the stories begin. I have known him for about a year and half now. And in that space of time, he transformed from a random new trainee to a roommate to a friend and then finally a family man. He used to live with me in the months after our team came back from London. Two ordinary, simple, boys. From Bangalore and Bombay. Then he fell in love. Then he got married.

Flautist Nagaraju's flute fusion played in the background, last evening at his place in Hyderabad. Hundreds of pale yellow lights twinkled across the void outside his balcony.

This is an unknown city,

With all this anonymity.

So, he began - quietly.

''Yaar, Mayur. I miss her.''

''Oh come on, man! It's not even 12 hours since she left and in another 3 days she will be back. Are you going to eat those chicken wings at all? Pass me some.''

''Hmm. You know, everytime my eyes open after I blink, I wish I could see her. I just wish I could see her and then blink again. And this time when I blink, I feel love in that moment and love it even more so, because I know that my eyes will open and I will see her again.''

''Wow. See. Blink. Love. Open eyes. See. Blink. Wow. If you wish that every sound that you hear is her musical laugh, then I have a solution for you. Call her up.''

''I will. A little later. And I'm sorry man, for all those late night I-love-you's you endured while pretending to be asleep and then the mornings that I used to wake up and speak to her and spoil your sleep. I don’t like this place anymore without her, man. This city, this anonymity. I feel like something has gone away from me permanently.''

''Hmm… Well. It's just 3 days man! I haven't told you, but I understand how it feels :-). Hold up, ok? Which reminds me. Dude! Why haven't you filled up your provident withdrawal form yet? It's almost 1 month since I gave you my copy.''

''Haan yaar. Karunga. I'm stuck at a point actually. One of the question in the form asks, Reason for leaving previous organisation. I haven't managed to figure out how to answer that.''

''Dude! It's 20 months since you've left DB. What do you mean you haven't managed to figure out how to answer THAT?''

'' Yes. I know. But that question makes me feel so happy, I just cant believe it. I left DB for all the wrong reasons, faught with my parents and came to Hyderabad. If I had not left DB, I would have never come to Hyderabad. If I wouldn't have been here, I wouldn't have met her. If I wouldn't have met her, I wouldn't be missing her today. If I wouldn't be missing her today, I wouldn't be looking forward to her returning back from B'lore on Tuesday. If.. ''

'' Ok ok fine. Stop! I get your point. Don’t you go writing all that on your provident fund withdrawal form. Its supposed to be one word. I almost wrote bored on mine. ''

And we laughed about it and he went to call his wife. So, I called it a fair day and went to sleep.

***

Oh well. It's still Sunday morning. I reach my arm out, pull up the shade curtain. And go back to sleep.

Words echo.

No past, no future. Being frozen in now.

Dark. Black. Blank.