Should the rats be put out of their misery with a piece of lead? Every morning that I wake up and grab my cup of coffee and the paper, all I read about is news, news and lots of grim news. Another bank collapsed, the market slid another 3% points or the market capitalisation of the biggest corporations in India lost another few million rupees. Israel sent across its border a few more rockets last night, or an Indian student in the US was killed.

They talk about another conspiracy thats being unravelled at Satyam or the latest scandal in bollywoodland, sometimes I wonder if I've been reading the wrong newspapers? Where are those op-ed's about the community harmony, where are those people who used to write about a new financial innovation called derivatives? Where are those financial planners now, who had plans of starting a new kisan centric warehouse close to the retail markets? I wonder where all the front page pictures of the tree-hugging people concerned about global warming are? What happened to the good old rally in the oil and gold markets? Why hasn't anyone spoken up against the outrage that our Indian political system is? At times like these I wonder if I've been left behind in a world I do not like or has everyone else just moved on.

The colour Red has something to do with it. When the markets are down the colour on the TV screen is Red. When a place gets bombed, or the rockets hit a city centre, there is Red all over the newspapers the next morning. Why cant people be nice to each other and understand that the same colour Red also stands for love? February 14, remember anyone?

I sit down, and think of the green grass that was my playground at school, the blue skies above my head and the great Banyan tree that could be seen from our window at class. If ever they had told me that in 10 years time, the world that I had known will change, I dont know what I could have done. For me at school, my Red house was the best team that I'd been into, to cheer for the seniors at the half marathon and 100, 200 or 400 metre medley was the event that defined the end of a good year and preps for the next unit test marked the beginning of a new one. There were days when all the members of our society would gather at a neighbours house to watch the India - Pakistan one dayer. Hot pakodas and tea for snacks on a rainy day, or a cycling adventure toward the beach at sundown and some nariyalpani under the stars.

Controlled sanity or uncontrolled insantiy? Its our choice, always.